Am i optimist enough?

When I decided to move back to my hometown, and close my chapter working in a high corporate world in big city, I had decided to become a very optimist in everything. I need to educate myself to be someone who never wants to take anything personally in life.

Learning stage is very hard. I always have to keep reminding myself to be positive. Later that I found that acting it will be easier. Sort of, I act to be positive to teach me how to be positive..Hmm ya I know confusing..ha ha

But it did come to some points that I really burst into tears, hatred and blaming. I hate everything that happens to me unexpectedly, unplanned.  I want to hate everything and everyone that hurt me, and just forget about being optimist. I a m just a human being with a feeling, not a machine that people can always throw something at me and I still smile. But i overcome it finally.

Building my own business from scratch and alone is not an easy task as I imagine it is. A month with so many rejections, so many failures. But I think the practice i did on trying to be optimist really helpful. People will shut me up before I finish my word, clients will make me wait for hours for an appointments, some will try to take advantages for me being a woman, even some accusing me flirting with their husband- take note that the husband is way too old even to be my father! Urgh, it is not the work loads that killing me, but the stress from the people I deal with.

When all happen, I will tell myself that success is about creating a space for myself, and letting go all unimportant things. Taking time to reboot myself, deleting unwanted files (even empty the recycle bin)..learning more and gaining more experience. 

Motivating myself with success and my target will makes me remember why I start this business. Not for me to brag around, but for my own satisfaction. That I finally know I really can do it by myself.

So yea, me, a woman who still trying to figure out how to survive in a wild world. Learning to be optimist in every single step she takes, and gaining knowledge for every footsteps. 

I am blessed to be someone who still have my girlfriends with me, sharing about life, relationship and learn from each other mistakes. Friends who always be there for each other good or bad times. some people don't have it, and im truly blessed. Maybe that’s what friends are for..

I might be not optimist enough ..yet..but in a process of learning, i am picking up quite fast :P