Reclaiming Time: Embracing the Write Way Forward

 Isn't it crazy how time just slips through our fingers? One moment we're making plans, and the next, it's a whole new month staring us in the face. But hey, that's life, right?

Lately, I've been doing some serious soul-searching. You know, the kind where you ask yourself the big questions. And one thing I've realized is how often I've used the excuse of being "too busy." But let's be real, is it really about being busy, or is it just a fancy way of saying I've been slacking? Procrastinating.

Well, no more of that for me. It's time to shake off the dust and get back to writing. And what better way to reconnect with my own self by sharing a piece of my world a few times a week?

So, here's the plan: I'm making a commitment to write three times a week. Short, sweet, and straight from the heart. (So help me God!)

Till tommorow!

That's how i speak my Dusun :(

Went to the vet at Ranau today to send my kitten Miss Stoking for checkup. She was being terrorized by two evil male cat and badly injured :(


Ranau do not actually have a private Vet, but do have Jabatan Haiwan where they provide a clinic for animals. Well unlike private vet, they don't have fancy equipments or proper system for checking, but yea, as long as they provide what they suppose to provide rite..

I went in and greeted by middle age man-which i don't think is an animal doctor..But experience assistant. yep he checked my kitten lovingly and he knows what he was doing :)


While he was checking, a couple came in, both in their 50s i think. The woman ask me : Aiyaa..nekure di gima lo dungau nu? (What's wrong with your cat?)

For 3 second i was thinking should i reply in Dusun or in Malay? Then maybe to be polite i choose to reply in Dusun. And it took me another 5 second to think what is 'Actually' in Dusun language. Well just make my sentence nice :)

Unable to figure it out, i reply : Sumakit (Sick) (Or should it actually be Sinumakit? Uh i don't know.)which is a very straight forward answer. Well, i know that as Dusun, i can't just reply a word. people will expect that there will be explanations after that.

My brain keep searching for the right words and then sentence to explain. Before i can think any, the man asked : Haro naakan dau? Naakaakan matu do rasun? (Something she eat? Maybe poison?)

Then my brain like an old harddisk spining soundly to think for a words. I was planning to say 'Attacked by the neighbour's cat' - in which unfortunately i don't know what is neighbour in Dusun. So i said 'Nokokot di Dungau sabalah walai'  (My late grandma might disowned me if she ever hear me speak Dusun like that)

I dont know. Should i use Nokokot or Kinokot or Kinokoton- but im pretty sure the root word is kokot-which mean bite.

And  Sabalah is actually a Malay word being Dusunized by me which is mean next to in that sentence :P..

And yep, to make things easy for me, i just put on my smiling face and let the couple do all the talking and i just smile,nod and say 'iri nogi..'  In English it just mean 'Yeah'

A visit to the vet really makes me realize how poor my vocabulary in Dusun is. Actually maybe i know what the word is , but when trying to put it into sentence, it will really sound funny, stupid or even rude..haih

And it will take me almost 30secs to reply in Dusun, as i need to think of the right words-right grammar and putting it into sentence.  i am really ashamed with myself!

Sabah=Poor?

The last time i went to Government Hospital was when i was 17, to get all my medical checkup for University admission. Since that was the time for all applicant to get their Medical Checkup done, the hospital had provide a system where we just go directly to the person who handle the tests, and go through all of it in just a few minutes.

Today, after 10 years, i went to government hospital for my migraine checkup. This time i really have to go through everything one by one. And it's uhm terrible! I have to wait for 4 hours to get to see the doctor!

But there was one thing that almost made me cry today, when i was queuing up for the registration. In front of me was a man, his wife and their little daughter. From the way they dressed up, i know they come far from Kota Kinabalu. Maybe from some kampung 300km away from the hospital.

The woman dressed with T-shirt and a sarong. She had a very old handbag, with lots of plastic bags in. The daughter is like 4 or 5 years old, so obvious having a malnutrition, and keep hiding behind her mother. The man, with unidentified colour T-shirt, a long tracksuit and barefoot!

I have enough time to look at them because something had stuck them at the registration. The officer like keep trying to tell them something, and the man like almost have a tears on his face. The mother holding her daughter close, and looking sadly at the husband. Both of them like breathing heavily.

I went closer to the registration counter, and asked the office what happen. I really couldn't bear to see the pain on the father's eye. The officer then told me that they need to pay RM15, for some minor operation they need to do.

Well, it doesn't need a scientist to tell that the man really don't have any money left. He couldn't even afford to buy RM2.50 selipar jepun!

I hand the officer RM20 to pay for their medical fee. She looked at me and asked me am i related to them. Honey, i don't have to be related to anyone, if the pain in the father's eyes almost shed me a tear!

The officer called another two officers and they were discussing something. Then one of them went to me and said "It's ok, you don't need to pay for them..We'll get this solved".. I wanted to ask why in the first place they didn't try to 'solve' it, instead that they keep on asking for the payment? But i didn't..i went and take my sit.

I was really distract with what had happen..I keep on imagining the man's face..Regret why there's still  poor people in Sabah (very very poor)..And why is that no one really do something about this..This is just too sad...

Maybe i can do something about this..and maybe i should start thinking and planning..I just can't figure out anything now..maybe soon..soon..

The Adat

When my friend Lita announce that her boyfriend had proposed, all of us-the girls, with eye open wide started screaming 'shut upp!!!!', and get really excited. Well of course starting to ask how he propose, when, how she react and stuffs..ha ha..

She officially announce her E day via face book, using cutely created video and start busy with all her E day preparation :).

During discussion with families on her E day programs, well of course custom 'adat' is the main discussion. Of course as a young generation, we have a very little knowledge in adat, and sometimes confuse on why should we have to follow it.

One of the interesting adat we come to know is during the engagement the man's family (of course including himself) have to go back before the sunset. I haven't get to know the main purpose, but as the elders says, it is so wrong for the family of the fiance and himself, to stay at the girl's house on the engagement day. If the man is not from the same area, they can stay until night, but they still have to go back on the same day. No stay back until morning. This adat usually practiced by Penampang Kadazan, and Dusuns. Hmm..not sure about other race.

One of my friend who married a Dutch, actually having a hard time explaining to him about the adat. Of course for him, it doesn't make sense at all. But having the respect of the adat, he and his representative checked in to nearest hotel for the night. Ha ha..cool!

Its really interesting to get to know all Dusun's adat actually. Especially when its something that i never heard of before. There must be a reason on all the adat, and i always believe that our tribe's adat need to be honored, even how much world has changed.

I am just saying

I am looking for a book entitle ‘If you want to be rich and happy, don’t go to school’. Yep, the title sound weird, but read the synopsis I found that the book really interesting, and worth to read.

Its something about how people interpret SCHOOL. A place where student MUST listen to what the teacher said, no argument and just LISTEN. Well this mostly apply in Asia school, where the social hierarchy is having the teacher on one of the most important and honored place.

I am not saying that I totally reject the education system, in this country especially. Please don’t get me wrong. My point is that, the system should be more open and practice 2 ways communications. Like student can argue with the solution with teacher and so do the teacher can ask student on the significant of the answer he or she gave.

Being Dusun (how I proud to be a Dusun), my grandparents teach me not to question anything but just do as we told by someone older than us. Never satisfied, but nothing I can do J. I am just a little girl back then.

I remember when me and my younger sister went to kebun with my grandma, she told us to ‘don’t talk’ when we pass by certain places, which according to my grandma, ‘they’ are having breakfast. I will really holding my breath, and walk without making any noise, because I will do as I told, without any question. Well, who dare to say to no my grandma ha ha. But being the notorious one, and I think she have unlimited question as a child, my sister, she will put both her palm on her mouth and say : I won’t talk, but can I breath? Or can I pick that funny leave, will they eat me if I do that? Ok I won’t talk, but the mosquitoes really annoying, eh if they can listen to us, then they can listen to the mosquitoes, why the mosquito’s grandma never ask them to keep quiet?

Ya, she will keep on asking can I this, can I that, until my grandma, slap her mouth in anger. Ha ha ha…

I remember my grandpa have 3 buffaloes which we nickname each one of them, ala but I kind of forget the names he he. One of it is Laning, a Dusun name my grandpa gave. Every morning my grandpa will check them to make sure they are okay, and once a while he will ask me to give a salt to them,. Like put a salt on my palm, and show it to the buffaloes. They will start licking my little palm and it feel so weird..I usually don’t like it, and I will throw the salt on the ground, and the buffalo will lick it from the ground.

My grandpa says, having the buffalo licking my palm will make her love me more. She will know that I am her master and she will gave birth with lots and beautiful baby buffalo. The baby will grow into large and very heavy mama buffalo, and I can sell it, when I need money for my college.

I never realize all his plans back then. Only now, I realize how he had planned for everything. he never go to any project management school, or financial plan class. I must mention here that my grandparents never go to school. My grandpa is very good in math, he can read and write. Yep, he lives to learn, and to experience everything. He gets unlimited answers for all his curiosity, and never has to choose A, B C or D, like in school.

He never had to worry how he makes his coffee. He can put sugar or salt. I was 9 when I said, teacher said coffee must go with sugar not salt. He said, because the teacher likes the taste. And you never try to use other because teacher only says with sugar. Well, back then, I always thought my teacher is far more educated compare to my grandpa, so I just do as my teacher told us (well, I never like the taste of coffee and salt anyway he he).But think about it now, my grandpa is a genius. Ah how i miss him :(

Not to encourage the young one NOT to go to school,they have to go to school, to get basic education. But the parents should put more effort to let their children learn and experience life naturally. Gives them space to think, discover and voice their thought. This can create better quality generation in future.