Back running

It had been (and still) a hard weeks for me for the first trimester.. 8 weeks and having bad morning and evening sickness.. I tried to keep my daily as normal as possible, but it's quite challenging.

I feel tired all the time , vomiting and headache. I miss running. I miss being outside and sweating.

And...today i decide that all this morning evening sickness must end. I must push myself and start workout again. Of course it gonna be very very slow and i think i will just do my power walk today, see how it goes. Hope i can slowly gain back my energy and stamina. While baby still very fragile, i know my priority..

The more active and fit you are during pregnancy, the easier it will be for you to adapt to your changing shape and weight gain. It will also help you to cope with labour and get back into shape after the birth.

Ah.. can't wait for the clock to hit 5.30 :)

How to save money on...food..in Kota Kinabalu.

Food in KK is really expensive. You won't get any complete food if you only have RM3, at least you need to have RM10 on hand if you want to eat outside.

Saving on food is one of the easiest way to do. Some people says when you stay alone, it's cheaper to eat outside than cook your own meal. But nah, that's just an excuse actually haha.

I only spend around RM40 weekly to buy groceries and it can lasts more than a week actually. Let me give you some example :

Veggies 1 : RM2 ( for 3 meals)

Vegge 2 : RM 3 ( for 3 meals)

Chicken : RM 4 ( 3 or 4 meals)

10 eggs : RM4.50 (5/6 meals)

frozen food : RM8 ( 8 - 10 meals)

Fish : RM12 (4 -5 meals)

Others : RM10

If you eat outside:

Breakfast ( Mee + telur mata ) + drinks : RM5.50

Lunch  : RM8

Dinner : RM8

If you have RM40, eating outside can lasts u only 2 or 3 days. But if you cook, it can lasts for more than a week.  You only spend RM50 the most per week if you cook. So it's only maximum around  RM200 per month. And you can eat healthy and delicious food!

Having your meal outside you will spend around RM350 or RM400 monthly. See the difference? You can save up to RM200 per month, which is RM2,400 per year!

And again what you can buy for RM2,400 ? You can settle your life insurance :).

Well it's an individual choice and i just happen to choose to spend wiser and save a lot so that maybe someday i can live my dream :)

Happy Monday people!

Being 30

Being 30 in 2 months plus now and i'm already feel the stress ha ha. I'm no longer so called women-in-their-20s but move a level up :).

When i was in my 20s weekend means go outing having fun with my friends. Thinking which movies haven't watch, do my hair do my nails.  And after work will waste with hanging out with friends at some cafe.

Now weekend is about planning and executing. Trying to squeeze all the time i have to get more info, knowledge and money :D. Movie day turned to seminars, classes or reading some investment book. Haha. Well looking at the amount of saving in my account , it won't survived me long enough, and im already 30! 

But of course i will always have time for myself, well i have to reward myself for all the hard work i did hehe. Like going for a cruise this weekend, oh i so can't wait! :) 

Don't ask if you don't need answer

Yes just don't...

I can't write anymore..

..and i don't know why.

Have you ever been in a situation when you really want to write something, and all the things you want to pour to the writing just stuck somewhere between your brain and fingers ( and i don't know exactly where it is he he)..

Here i am, having emotionless blog ha ha. Now it had  been 8 years, and it getting worst. Could it be because of Facebook or Twitter? Or it's just me?

Hmmm...They say :

but i am not complaining..i'm just wondering :D..

Busy with life..mean im still alive! :)

Did any of you realized that time fly really fast? I mean it seems that I don’t even have any time to organize my task and there goes weekend! I wake up everyday like a robot –working-back-sleep…and never ending story..

Last week was really a ‘GREAT’ week for me, need to get 2 systems done in same deadline. Well, when you do programming and meet client, usually what they were asking is what they WANT not what they NEED. Its frustrating when you didn’t get a chance to define what is WANT and NEED. Well after all it’s their money ain’t it? But cracking my head to the maximum is what I really hate..i know I know… who doesn’t..:)

I am currently learning new programming language as well, plus with what I am using now.  At least I can brag that I am improved in my programming skill..Ha ha..I am currently developing a system to do sort of like an e- calendar where (usually) manager can do 1 month schedule for his/her staffs  on where to go, what time, and stuffs. It is exactly like a Google calendar but customized for your need J.

Oh I definitely will give a link after it completely done..just in case anyone need my service? Heheh..(Promo juga bah !)

 The other one is an Inventory system with a bar scan. Quite challenging when I need to customized client’s need.. I will need another 2 months to deliver…hopefully all done before Christmas L

Life is a Song

 I stumble upon this beautiful song by Patrick Park, really inspiring. Enjoy people!

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness


Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending


Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in


Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go


Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in


Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

 

Patrick Park "Life Is A Song" from Ravi Dhar on Vimeo.

Am i optimist enough?

When I decided to move back to my hometown, and close my chapter working in a high corporate world in big city, I had decided to become a very optimist in everything. I need to educate myself to be someone who never wants to take anything personally in life.

Learning stage is very hard. I always have to keep reminding myself to be positive. Later that I found that acting it will be easier. Sort of, I act to be positive to teach me how to be positive..Hmm ya I know confusing..ha ha

But it did come to some points that I really burst into tears, hatred and blaming. I hate everything that happens to me unexpectedly, unplanned.  I want to hate everything and everyone that hurt me, and just forget about being optimist. I a m just a human being with a feeling, not a machine that people can always throw something at me and I still smile. But i overcome it finally.

Building my own business from scratch and alone is not an easy task as I imagine it is. A month with so many rejections, so many failures. But I think the practice i did on trying to be optimist really helpful. People will shut me up before I finish my word, clients will make me wait for hours for an appointments, some will try to take advantages for me being a woman, even some accusing me flirting with their husband- take note that the husband is way too old even to be my father! Urgh, it is not the work loads that killing me, but the stress from the people I deal with.

When all happen, I will tell myself that success is about creating a space for myself, and letting go all unimportant things. Taking time to reboot myself, deleting unwanted files (even empty the recycle bin)..learning more and gaining more experience. 

Motivating myself with success and my target will makes me remember why I start this business. Not for me to brag around, but for my own satisfaction. That I finally know I really can do it by myself.

So yea, me, a woman who still trying to figure out how to survive in a wild world. Learning to be optimist in every single step she takes, and gaining knowledge for every footsteps. 

I am blessed to be someone who still have my girlfriends with me, sharing about life, relationship and learn from each other mistakes. Friends who always be there for each other good or bad times. some people don't have it, and im truly blessed. Maybe that’s what friends are for..

I might be not optimist enough ..yet..but in a process of learning, i am picking up quite fast :P

30 Days Blogging Challenge

New year..

I challenge myself to blog everyday for 30 days...I've been blogging for almost 6 years, and i know how hard it is to blog everyday..Well, to make life a bit fun, lets do it! :)

2011 is all about living healthy physically and mentally. So yea, start to do my run everyday is one of the goal.Maybe i will start with 4 times a week, for 2 weeks, then will do it everyday after that. Few years back, i love running. Every morning i must wake up and do it..Mostly because i was in hockey team and i have to do it..ha ha..and day by day it become habit. But after start working and stuffs, it totally forgotten. And so yea, 2011 is the time to do it again!

How do you wake up every morning  and start running? Not that easy, i need a very strong mental to leave my bed :). My routine will be based on 30minutes Daily jog which i will tell in detail on my next post. Ah, i still have 29 more posts to go anyway hehe..

Ok people, off for now, i have 2 appointments with clients today, and laundry to do..Wish me luck :)

Work From Home

Its been 2 weeks for me to work from home..My friends asking how does it feel..Hmmm...Well as someone who used to work with other people, have lots of colleagues, it ain't really fun but yea, still have the fun side of it! hehe

1. You can work anytime and anywhere you want. But make sure you really do your work because sometimes you will feel sooo lazy and you will feel like doing your work later..This is dangerous!

2. You will feel stressed when you face difficulties as there's no one around to talk with. Make sure you have all the motivational books with you :D

3. There will be a lot to do. You will have to do everything from A to Z by yourself.
4. Hmm..to be continue..

Hehe..Maybe this is one of the symptom, you will blog a lot..:)

The good old time..

i was online chatting with my friends just now now, and i finally realize how i miss my days at Kuala Lumpur. I mean, i yea, those good old time we spent when we were young, and have only laughs and happy and dancing and clubs..

We were 21 and we were the party girl. We went to each and every club in KL, just to have fun.Night without party seems soooo boring. And since we were just a college student back then, we don't have that much money to go for everynight clubbing..but..well, i think being young and 'adventurous' we try so many ways to get into the club, mostly getting to know those working adult..ha ha..and get in as one of their group, and inside the club..we will just go to the dance floor and forget about them..

I wonder how did i get all those energy to dance all night long..I love dancing with the loud music, with all those happening people around me..i just dance and dance and dance with the music..Our fav club is at The Zouk, mustly because of the music, and most of the time, international artist will have shows there..so live show?Who gonna miss it!

One thing that people confuse about me is, i go clubbing and party almost everyday but i didn't drink or smoke..Hmm..I don't know, i just not into it. I go party for the sake of the music and dance, the crowd and blast..i never thought about getting drunk or smoking, because all i wanted is to dance!

Now, sometimes i miss it (like now hehe) but most of the time, i feel so tired to think of all the musics, all the people. Maybe time change, and maybe im done with partying :) But yea, KL life is amazing..But to live that forever is impossible..People change and get matured, thinking about future, life and everything.

Now all i wanted is to go for a world tour, getting to know other places other than clubs in KL!  :)

Tic toc

Down with flu is the last thing that i wanted now...Please not now, when everything still not yet settled, all the paperworks still not finish, those demanding stuffs that need 101% attention..

But here i am, on my couch, having hot and cold combination with cough..argh..not good..not good...

Maybe all i have to do is not to think about it..My grandma used to say, when you feel sick, don't think about it, and it will gone..Well, yea, i always do that and most of the time it works! Amazing..but yep, sometimes our body just need a very strong spirit to get better :D

I went for a jogging at the beach just now and its amazing..I really love the sound of the ocean, so calming..Maybe i will start to work by the beach sometimes, to get more relax...And to be frank, i love being self employed. I can do my work anytime, anywhere. As long as i work hard to bring in some projects, i will surely survive :)

The lyric and my life..

A friend to ask me to find a poem that shows my feeling, and always have the great meaning to my life..Something that shows who i am..I know one...Its how i fell about life ..Every single lyric...Every single word..

The Greatest Love of all..

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe

No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

The Adat

When my friend Lita announce that her boyfriend had proposed, all of us-the girls, with eye open wide started screaming 'shut upp!!!!', and get really excited. Well of course starting to ask how he propose, when, how she react and stuffs..ha ha..

She officially announce her E day via face book, using cutely created video and start busy with all her E day preparation :).

During discussion with families on her E day programs, well of course custom 'adat' is the main discussion. Of course as a young generation, we have a very little knowledge in adat, and sometimes confuse on why should we have to follow it.

One of the interesting adat we come to know is during the engagement the man's family (of course including himself) have to go back before the sunset. I haven't get to know the main purpose, but as the elders says, it is so wrong for the family of the fiance and himself, to stay at the girl's house on the engagement day. If the man is not from the same area, they can stay until night, but they still have to go back on the same day. No stay back until morning. This adat usually practiced by Penampang Kadazan, and Dusuns. Hmm..not sure about other race.

One of my friend who married a Dutch, actually having a hard time explaining to him about the adat. Of course for him, it doesn't make sense at all. But having the respect of the adat, he and his representative checked in to nearest hotel for the night. Ha ha..cool!

Its really interesting to get to know all Dusun's adat actually. Especially when its something that i never heard of before. There must be a reason on all the adat, and i always believe that our tribe's adat need to be honored, even how much world has changed.

November says Hello..

As i can't stop the time from moving, i can only complain, it moving way too fast..

I remember when i was in my primary school, every year, i will wait for December to come..And it seems too long- the waiting. I have to go through 3 semesters, some 2 weeks school break and then only come the 'cuti panjang' long holiday. And every month is like a year..and a year like..uhm..10 years? ha ha..

Another month for Christmas, and there's no cuti panjang for me anymore. Sometimes i wonder, why didn't i take a long long holiday after i graduated, but started work to fast? Maybe i'm so energetic those days. Trying as quick as i can to start a career. Its been five years....and i never really have more than 2 weeks for my own...Its all about work work and work..

Here in Sabah, life is all about taking the opportunity. There's a lot of things i can do, and work for. I started join Tupperware to gain knowledge in business. And it never fail me, i did learn a lot when i join it. The money i earn from it not as much as the knowledge i gain.. Well, maybe yea, people will look at it as some MLM thingy, it is. But i am just not the kind who will see things as other people see..To be frank, i didn't really see the thing that i have to sale to gain profit..But i see something, the connection of other thing from it...

Maybe i did grow up, and my surviving skills become better, he he.But one thing i learn in life, is that, handwork is important. You can be smart, but without implementation, anything can be just a dream..You can be the mommy's girl, or the sweetheart, but you need to grow up-be a strong woman. Because you can't be a little girl forever.

Anyway, its just Nov 2010...I am young in my 20s! And i am enjoying my life! :)


I am so thankful to my late Grandma, who really taught me a lot about handwork.She's just a typical Dusun woman who will work so so and i mean it soooooooo hard, in everything she do...RIP Ina..

Ain't no mountain high?

If you really want something to happen, will you climb the mountain  even how hard it is or just tell your dreams but do something else? Will you just wish some miracle happen, and didn't work hard for it? If you want something, will you REALLY do it with all your efforts, passion, determination, hard work, excitement and courage?

when you didn't..mean...your heart just for something else..so don't bother to dream, to talk..

Sometimes is upsetting to watch all that you've been working on all alone didn't work out. It is more upsetting when  someone that you really wish would understand didn't.
And when it happen, i loose faith, day by day...


And i learned that, you don't share your dream to anyone..until they really climb beside you, lift you up when you almost loose faith, grab your hands when you about to fall..if they didn't..its better to climb alone...

....and i only wish the feeling will not gone..till the day my crawling ended..at the top..

Independent Woman i am...

The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin
I've bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me

Tell me how you feel about this
who Would I want if I would wanna live

I Worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
ladies, it ain't easy bein' Independent

All i have to do is....Dream...

I survive my three months here! :)

I just regret that i have to buy lots of new stuffs-again, as i left them all at KL. Argh, stress...Even my oven for my fav Homemade Roasted Chicken and my LCD :(

Life is getting good, i just have to blend with the new environment. Maybe sometime i am a bit stress when i am looking at the white wall, imagining its my LCD TV, when i have no one but me to talk with. Maybe i have to keep everything myself, because someone already accuse me to complain too much, yea, so i decide to 'complain' to myself, if i have something in mind..Then only i realize, not everyone can share what i have in mind. That's hit me!

Oh and i am thinking about my own dream house, where i can have my beautiful room, with my walk in wardrobe-ah and of course a small garden where i can plant lots of veges! He he..I will adopt one cute little doggy to accompany me, and not to forget my mini library, where i can spend my days reading and reading and reading..whenever i want...:D...plus cute complete kitchen too !

See, cute rite :D...But yea, i will have to work day and night for it, err..he he..At least thinking about it makes me happy..And i think thats the only thing that can make me happy now..Me, a little cute puppy and a cute small house..awww... :)

The climb..

How many songs reflect you in some ways in your life? Or maybe portrays what you feel or face daily?  maybe this song best describe me now....the climb..too near yet too far...The faith sometimes shaking, and some evils will whisper to me that i'm not gonna make it... All i know is that i need to be strong, and focus on my dream....

 

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

i am officially a year wiser

The Black Girls he he..

:) and yes, indeed i am..a year wiser than last year..gaining more experience and knowledge? hmm..hehe..

This year is the begining of a new life here, in my homeland, with my good funny and forever friends..Ah i love my friends..Celebrating my birthday a day earlier (they throw a suprise party for me), and it was really fun!..

(From Left: Tracy, ladyia, Aslinah, Kuyung,ME, Jessica)

The choclate cake was soooo delicious, thanks to Kuyung who recomend that cake..so yummy!

Me and Aslinah the Leo Girl :)

We started the party since 6 oclock and finish around 12 plus am..Ha ha...yea...Jessica especially had sang almost 100 songs (ha ha ha).

Look at the food! very the yummy..alamak i feel hungry again owh..We finish up all the foods and i think all had gain extra 1 or 2 kilos..ha ha..
 

Wah jessica juga laa...2 Thumbs up kama..hahahah

Tracy also bring her very cute daughter, NiNi, and i cannot help but wanting to hug her all the time (gerigitan)..hehe...

Alamak me happy dapat kek?hahaha...

But...Not forgeting...strange enough...lots and lots of ppl forgetting my birthday this year! Urgh!

My nephew and my younger sister! ........And i will never forget , 'someone' forget as well!

Well i still enjoying my birthday this year with my best girl friends...Having  good friends is the most precious present i could ever had from you girls..Big thank you to Tracy, Folicia, ladyia, jessica,aslinah, Lita and Kuyung...!

Even though we had known each other 10 years ago, i still feel like we were just the stupid college girl who do lots of stupid thing together. we had our own career now, and some with own family, but as long as we keep in touch, the friendship will always be there rite girls..

Can't wait for Jacklyn's wedding this Nov..and for our 'Langseu Shooting Day' before the wedding! ha ha...